From Sinai to Savior

Today I watched the coolest show on a cathedral that is located at the supposed base of Mt. Sinai. The very plain where the Israelites settled when Moses went up to get the 10 commandments from God. It wasn't a Christian group that lived there, but the tour was amazing. The picture to the left shows a sunset there. You have to feel that they feel some sort of a connection w/ God being there.

It made me think of the place that God communed w/ his people. The desert... a desolate place w/ little water, gritty sand and nearly intolerable heat. A place of lowliness, of humiliation. Here the Israelites came tired, hungry, and (their trademark) complaining. They wandered here when they failed to obey God's call to enter into the promised land. I've always thought of it as a punishment, but lately I've looked at it differently.

I imagine myself in a desert. The wind whispering through the air and the sand slowly passing over my feet like gentle waves of water. But what is most incredible is the sound... nothingness... a pin drop could be heard right then. Or even better... God's voice. His smallest whisper... the whisper lost in the midst of busy life... lost in slavery in Egypt... lost in the chaos of Israel's failure to enter the promised land. But here it is heard... The whisper: "I am"...

And then there was Jesus. God in man... he took on the characteristics of man... he lost energy, needed refueling every once in awhile. And where did he go... a garden. The garden of Gethsemane. It was such a silent place in fact that the disciples fell asleep there. Here, in the midst of silence... was Jesus rejuvenated by God's spirit. It was here he came when his energy was sapped. Sapped by fighting of evil... sapped by his love for me and you... but he found a place to come... here in silence... that is where he heard God's voice: "I am your Father".

And here I am. I just received news that one of my friend's grandpa passed away. She is a big part of this breakout and for big things to happen... and Christmas just came w/ New Years right around the corner... Why now? My mom started her medicine up again... Why does she have cancer? Why does she have to suffer? Why doesn't God do big things through me right now? Why?

And here God brings me to his desert... There to pet the doe as my friend Bear said... and he says in the faintest of whispers... though I hear it loud because in the desert nothing else can be heard... A desert that the Israelites wandered through... In a garden where Jesus prayed... From Sinai to my Savior it has been used to rejuvenate those called for God's purpose... and God says: "I am enough".

God or the Glowsticks

Today was Christmas. It was awesome. I got to play outside w/ my cousins and hang out with a friend I haven't seen in a really long time. Christmas was just an all-around amazing time.

So in my other blog I had been focusing on backing in the presence of God and who he is. It was a great feeling. I've been able to relax and just let God be the center of my life (It also helped that I didn't have to deal w/ the stress of school). In this Christmas season full of tragedy and bad news I was able to rely on a God that was bigger than all that.

One of my biggest concerns lately has been the Freshmen Break-out that is going to happen at my school on the 4th. It ties in w/ my dreams for my freshmen class to really start becoming the church. To do something big and amazing and deathstarian (I JUST LOVE THAT WORD). I've been assigned w/ a special task as class prez and I'll just reveal that I'm doing something w/ glowsticks... 40 glowsticks.... that I hadn't yet bought.

Procrastination is a word that can pretty much describe my task behavior. As a result, I get stressed, and as a result of that, don't trust in God. Crazy thing is that everything would be fine and dandy if I didn't procrastinate and did trust in God. Such wasn't the case this week and I was beginning to get worried... until of course I had my encounter w/ Bear. His perspective check helped a lot.

Another aspect of the soup kitchen church was the signs all around. They had the names of God. One of the things I know God as is "The Provider". My mom told me this once "Make sure that you long for the Provider before the Provision". It makes sense now... Why ask of things from God instead of asking FOR God? It hit me today as I opened my Christmas present... 40 glowsticks... that's right... my parents are awesome!

It hit me that God provides what we need when we need it. First, we have to realize that we need God and then everything else is pretty much a bonus. At Camp Elim this summer my camp service team leader read us a quote from the Chronicles of Narnia that went something like this: Lucy says to Aslan "Aslan, it's not Narnia that we'll miss... It's you". That's how we should be w/ God. It's not the benefits or the greatness or even passion... it's the true, pure love for an eternal, loving God. That love surpasses anything. It's a matter of picking God over the glowsticks.

Pic of Family Christmas:

When the Bear Pets the Doe

Recently I've been running at 2,000 miles an hour. Running from one thing to the next trying to analyze how God can work through me and then running after that. That's our call after all is it not?

It's been tough. Recently my mom been feeling like junk w/ her new dose and medicine, we got news of a friend who was diagnosed w/ cancer, and the church is now struggling with shootings at YWAM at New Life. If I were to send you to a news station webpage there you could find many more opportunities that God could use us in life. I've started to learn to view problems as opportunities as greatness. It's a daily race... a daily carrying of the cross... a daily act of courage.

I got to thinkin about this at a church called "Grace Be Unto You", which my small group helped serve at since they serve meals to the homeless and give out presents before Christmas. I felt my blood running again for God. The passion there is amazing. They conveyed the message of the church w/ deathstarian passion (yes, that's my new made up word "deathstarian"). And the crazy thing is that the lady who gave the message had walked the path of what we view as the "horrible" sinner. She'd come out victorious in a battle of true evil and temptation. It amazed me. She talked about the race and the daily act of courage as a call to holiness. In a little segment she talked about rejuvenation through church and constant renewal of your mind and it sort of stuck in my head the rest of the night.

As I started serving I began to start meeting the homeless people (which is quite a daunting task especially taken alone because you friends are too shy! Ugh... love all y'all though...). It was a true perspective check and made me reevaluate my wants and needs. I then met a guy that truly amazed me.

His nickname was Bear and I don't remember his real name. He opened up to me. Started talking about his ex and his son and his job and his days spent at the shelter. I mean this guy had problems... majorly. He talked to me on how much the sermon affected him. It made him begin to reevaluate his life and his walk. It awed me.

He told me the story of the day before this happened. He had seen a doe... and he went to pet it. He petted it for 30 minutes and it was the first time for years he didn't dwell on his problems. He just enjoyed who God was by his creation. My friend Amy took a trip to Cancun and did the same thing. She told me about dolphins, the ocean, and christmas. She just took a break from tough life and enjoyed God.

I felt good about sending letters to the church and building others up, and I even had an amazing time praying over the friend who got cancer. But today... Bear awed me... it's good to try and change the world... but God always wants me to come back to the reason of it all.

It's because of a beautiful creation, man's sin, a babe in a manger, the cross, and an empty grave. It's a simple truth behind a complicated world. So yes, it is courageous to change a complicated world... but it's important to remember the truth that runs the motive behind changing the world. Enjoy the fact that he came as a baby in a manger in a filthy stable to ordinary people. And that simple truth clears many webs of complication.

So if your running 2000 miles an hour right now, remember that God sometimes calls you to pet the doe... Merry Christmas everyone!

Hero of My Dream

So here's a song that took me awhile to write. So recently I've been in the mindset of "revolution" and this song came to my head. The epic life is a life for Jesus and he's the true hero of the story. It's a dream of a hero... and then realizing that we can't be that hero... but Jesus can be that hero through us...

HERO OF MY DREAM

I close my eyes, I start to dream
I start to run and grow my wings
I start to fly, I touch the sky
I look down as time goes by

Down below, there’s sorrow and pain
The cycle repeats over and over again
Is it wrong if time goes by
I’m not doing a thing is that really crime?

We’re running out of time, who will be the change
We’re in a drought of hope, who will bring the rain
It starts right here, it starts right now
We’ll change the world someway, somehow
We’ll be the change, we’ll bring the rain
We’ll see more light another day

I feel my flight stop, I feel my body drop
It’s the end of flight, it’s time to make wrongs right
It’s time to be the light it’s time to start the fight
It’s time to be what the world’s never seen,
But I don’t know how I’ll be the hero of my dream

I open my eyes and all I’ve found
Is that my feet are stuck to the ground
No more superstrength, no more superflight
I’m not a hero, so how will I fight

I look to the hills and what do I see
I see that this is Jesus working through me
This is the epic life that I’m gonna live
All of me is what I’m gonna give

We’re running out of time, I’m gonna be the change
We’re in a drought of hope, I’m gonna bring the rain
It starts right here, it starts right now
I’m gonna change the world this way because I know I’m found
I’ll be the change, I’ll bring the rain
I’ll bring more light… today

I feel my pride stop, I let Jesus drop
Grace all over me, so that I can be
What the world’s never seen,
Because Jesus is the hero of my dream

So Much It Hurts

This week I talked to Joanna and Sarah Guhl about my last blog about the death star. Now when I usually dream about something I'm one of those big picture people who always forgets the details. It's good thing I've got super-organized and OCD friends (I love my friends for it though).

So as Joanna and Sarah listened to my thoughts (That takes courage by the way, sometimes I get a little out there) they brought up a good question. So there's all this energy and there's a focal point, which is God. But how does the energy get focused into that focal point?

I honestly didn't know. I've seen youth groups of different groups, christian classes with different cliques, and even small groups with segregated groups within them. Looking at that big picture makes it sure look like that energy is going everywhere except for the place it needs to be.

But then I looked even bigger. I was at SouledOut yesterday and I saw that the youth pastor was focusing that energy. He gave them a goal. He challenged them to raise 10,000 dollars in one year for AIDS in Africa. Middle schoolers? You've got to be kidding me...

Well, they've raised 5,700 dollars and their not even half-way through the school year. Now that's powerful.

One place where I saw huge power this week was in my Bible class. We talked about suicide, and my fellow students opened up in heart-pounding, gut-wrenching ways. I probably won't ever look at them the same.

My class has the amazing ability to be real with each other. Mr. Tharp, my Bible teacher, made the observation that the people in my class care for each other so hard it hurts. That compassion is rare. It's another reason that I totally think God put my class together to change the world.

It's about time to focus that compassion. First to help each other and then in turn to realize we can use that compassion to help the world.

My class doesn't realize the amount of courage in our compassion. That compassion can be focused for God. So next year I'm planning to start the class on an epic campaign. To raise loose change to loosen the chains of slaves all over the world. I can see God using our compassion to truly change the world. It's going to be bigger than anything our class has imagined.

It's something that's a commitment. In the Purpose Driven Life, Rick Warren says "Tell me what you're commited to and I'll tell you what you'll be in 20 years." Well, I'm telling you that if my class commits to focusing our compassion and passion on God, a new breed of leaders will rise up. The future is made by the courageous decisions young people make today. So may this start the journey of an epic campaign.

How Youth are Like the Death Star

Last night I served at the middle school youth group, and they did worship for the entire service. I did it last year at the youth group and loved it.

As I was there again, I looked upon the crowd and saw something huge... simply ginormous. The lights were dimmed, the youth pastor's guitar was rockin, and (as one would expect) the students were jumping. Now jumping is quite a topic. People jump all the time when their scared, excited... sometimes even bored. This jumping had energy though. It was awesome... energy exerted for the pure worship of God. Now that's a true concentration of energy.

It's sort of like that death star. Now the thing as a whole had a lot of energy. But the key was focusing it on one focal point before shooting. Then it was massive. A total destructor of planets. Call me a Star Wars nerd but that thing is sweet!!

Youth are a lot like that. The energy is there. It's about time that energy became focused. The focus has been there I think that sometimes it gets lost as youth get exposed to the world.

As my family celebrated thanksgiving we decided to watch my old videos. Of course, starting with kindergarten. We watched the CSCS kindergarten graduation and laughed at the singing, speaking, and just how different everyone looks now (Some people at school would kill me if they saw these videos... haha... blackmail...). There came a part when the kindergarten teacher brought the microphone to each kid and we each said what we wanted to be when we grew up. Answers came up like astronaut, firefighter, policeman, and at least 5 said they wanted to be missionaries, and another few said they wanted to be pastors. Now, to me this is big.

Whatever happened to the "dream factor." I mean in kindergarten people wanted to do big things, reach for the stars. That factor is still in every person today.

If every young person used that "dream factor" to dream big for God. We could most definitely change the world. I mean, the dream factor of every christian teenager focused in one direction is most definitely stronger than any death star I know.

Of Love and Magic

So today I had a great conversation with my mom about dating. Now I have the same view as my mom, but today I decided to ask her if I could play devil's advocate. By doing this I got to take a different look at love. At least the "dating kind" of love.



We talked for awhile and she reached a good point. Love for human isn't endless. It has it's limits.



It sort of reminds me of the story of Eragon. He was a young dragonrider who was born with the natural ability of magic.



The one catch to his talent was that his magic could only go as far as the physical ability he had. As an example, he could only lift objects with magic that he could lift with his bare hands. He had a limit. His magic was strong, but still limited.



In the mind of a teenager (I am one so I know this also) we seem to think when we're in love that love will never end. That if we get into a relationship that we can just use our love again if we break up. That we have enough self-control to stop ourselves at the right place.



We don't. It's the story of a teenager's life. We are not limitless with love. When we give it away, we don't get it back. so instead of using that love for that partner we will spend the rest of our life with, we waste it.



I don't think it's a coincidence that Paul puts first in 1 Cor 13 "Love is patient" because it truly is. And it takes major courage to control our love. But I can guarantee God will bless that in the long run.

The Journey

So today will probably be my last blog for awhile. It's blog fifteen. That's right, the big one that gets the 100% in the grade column.

But for me, this journal has been much more than an assignment... it's been a mirror. It's become something I've come face to face with every night for the past two weeks and really seen if I have the guts to live the EPIC LIFE.

It's shocked me, comforted me, and grown me.

Here's what I've found:

Courage requires confidence. Not confidence in oneself, but confidence in ONE GOD. For that is the most epic story of all. The story about a God who lived the EPIC LIFE and who proved that epic braveness was possible.

Courage is only found in those who choose to be courageous. The more I look at it, the more I see that courage separates those with "different" thinking and "different" callings.

Courage is a calling. It's a call to revolutionize what is, love everything, and obey with the gentleness of the "Green Giant". Courage is strong.

All in all, courage is a journey. It is not a destination. It is a lifestyle. It is a life where we fight multi-headed dragons, wield hobbit blades, and start revolutions. Constantly courage calls upon us to fight, and never give up that fight. We do not fight alone though. We fight alongside MIGHTY friends, and though we fall, we pick ourselves up and keep on chasing that lion. Courage is not something we reach. It's something we live. It is not the destination, but rather the route to that destination. But we know all in all that we will end up victorious, for it has been promised to us in the word. So every day we pick up our cross, trusting that Christ will provide the strength. And in each footstep, whether we realize it or not, we show courage. For after all, you never really see it until after it's over and say, "Wow, God is truly a great God" and then we just keep on trekking. So I'll keep on trekking, I know not when the journey ends, I just know that I'm called to be brave until I get there. And I know that it won't just be my pair of footprints. There's going to be one right next to me all the way through. So I'm going to keep carrying my cross because that's what it takes, no matter how long the journey. Will you?

The Mighty "THREE"

2 Samuel 23:8-17

These are the names of David's mighty men: Josheb-Basshebeth, [b] a Tahkemonite, [c] was chief of the Three; he raised his spear against eight hundred men, whom he killed [d] in one encounter.
9 Next to him was Eleazar son of Dodai the Ahohite. As one of the three mighty men, he was with David when they taunted the Philistines gathered at Pas Dammim [e] for battle. Then the men of Israel retreated, 10 but he stood his ground and struck down the Philistines till his hand grew tired and froze to the sword. The LORD brought about a great victory that day. The troops returned to Eleazar, but only to strip the dead.
11 Next to him was Shammah son of Agee the Hararite. When the Philistines banded together at a place where there was a field full of lentils, Israel's troops fled from them. 12 But Shammah took his stand in the middle of the field. He defended it and struck the Philistines down, and the LORD brought about a great victory.
13 During harvest time, three of the thirty chief men came down to David at the cave of Adullam, while a band of Philistines was encamped in the Valley of Rephaim. 14 At that time David was in the stronghold, and the Philistine garrison was at Bethlehem. 15 David longed for water and said, "Oh, that someone would get me a drink of water from the well near the gate of Bethlehem!" 16 So the three mighty men broke through the Philistine lines, drew water from the well near the gate of Bethlehem and carried it back to David. But he refused to drink it; instead, he poured it out before the LORD. 17 "Far be it from me, O LORD, to do this!" he said. "Is it not the blood of men who went at the risk of their lives?" And David would not drink it. Such were the exploits of the three mighty men.

Today in chapel Mr. Winn talked about David's three mighty men. Now these men were courageous. Every single one proved himself strong and true. They were brave, strong, and there was nothing that could stand in their way.

Each one of them had amazing character that was admirable and I think Mr. Winn covered them quite fully. One thing he didn't remark on so much is that they were the "THREE". It wasn't great Eleazer, and great Shammah and great Josheb. No they chose to be called a unit.

Stories love giving trios that are unstoppable. There are the three from Lord of the Rings: Aragorn, the king, Legolas, the guy with bow and arrow skills, and Gimli, the plump man with the ginormous axe.

There were the 3 musketeers, the three amigos (not sure about their courage, but they sure were funny), and there was Leia, Luke, and Han from Star Wars.

Even our world realizes that there is power in 3's. I think that is another aspect of courage I didn't account for. It is not just important to be courageous, it's important to surround yourself with courageous people.

For me, it's my friends Mark and Chad. They have been my accountability partners for three years now, and I am where I am largely because of them. They were there for me in my hardest times and we're there for each other when any of us our having troubles. I've been with them to watch them laugh, cry, smile, go through crushes, and just do guy stuff. They're truly important friends to me.

Together, we have sharpened each other like iron sharpens iron. God has grown all of us closer together and grown all of us spiritually. I truly do value them as friends. Every night we talk and as I look upon our group today I see more than just a group of friends. In my eyes, WE are a mighty three. It's not that I'm mighty, or Mark's mighty, or Chad's mighty. No, I think it's that God does mighty things through us. All for one and one for all!

The Problem of Ignorance of the Solution of the Problem

So at small groups last night I talked to my my friends about my prayer challenge. I talked about it not it just being enough to feel sorry for a person but actually do something about it.

In the discussion I found a reply that I didn't expect. My friend Chad gave me another perspective that was different than normal culture. He said, "Don't always let yourself get down to that level of just pitying someone else. Sometimes they need a little push to actually face their problem! There are many times where the solution is right there if they would just take off their shades of self-pity" (I paraphrased it but that something of what he said).

I recently read in TIME magazine about the power of language. How every human uses different words to convey a meaning while at the same time maintain the status of the relationship. For example, instead of saying "Pass the salt" we say "Could you please pass the salt?" or instead of "I hope you have a great time celebrating the birth of the savior who came to save the entire world of their sins" we say "Happy Holidays" after all, some things are better left said the "politically correct" way. This is maintaining peace is it not?

Wrong! Even though I exaggerated a bit you get my point. Sometimes it's time to get real with each other! Just because we don't mention a problem doesn't mean that it's not there. It is there and it's just going to keep on getting bigger if it's ignored.

I know some people that are depressed about their lives, and no it just keeps getting worse and worse and no one is doing anything about it. Well, I tell you sometimes there is somebody that can do something. The person in the problem!

I don't mean to be mean or anything, but to make your problems infinitely big is to degrade the power of God. After all, if we sulk about it and say "This is too much too handle. I'm just going to give up." Isn't that like saying "Hey, God, you know I don't think you're big enough to handle my problem."

So to those of you out there who are going through some big issues. Don't get me wrong, I mourn with you and feel sorrow for you. Believe me, I know what it's like. I won't compare myself to you, but I know what a hard time is like. Try having a doctor put a time limit on your mom's life. That puts life in perspective. So, today I'm going to give you a bit of some tough love.

It takes courage to give this, because it sacrifices what exists of the relationship so the true point can get across. Stop moping about your problem! Do something about it. Sometimes that means giving up your problem and laying it at the foot of the cross and saying "God you're bigger than this problem. Take care of it as you will" and sometimes it takes listening to God calling you to use the tools he has given you to conquer that problem. After all, keeping it in doesn't work. Ignorance of the problem doesn't work. It's time to start fighting back. The fight won't be easy but after all.... if something was worth a lot to you wouldn't you want to pay a lot for it? Having God handle your problems is so worth it.

Here's a poem that illustrates what it looks like when you do allow God to help with your problem:

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he waswalking along the beach with the Lord. Across thesky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene, henoticed two sets of footprints in the sand: onebelonging to him, and the other to the Lord. Whenthe last scene of his life flashed before him, helooked back at the footprints in the sand. Henoticed that many times along the path of his lifethere was only one set of footprints. He also noticedthat it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life. This really bothered him and hequestioned the Lord about it. "Lord, You said thatonce I decided to follow you, You'd walk with me allthe way. But I have noticed that during the mosttroublesome times in my life, there is only one setof footprints. I don't understand why when I neededyou most you would leave me." The Lord replied,"My son, My precious child, I love you and I wouldnever leave you. During your times of trial andsuffering, when you see only one set of footprints, itwas then that I Carried You."

-Mary Stevenson

The Green Giant

So this morning I was quite scared. Today was ODP day for soccer and as I said before last time I was pretty scared. Odds were, the kids would be better, faster, and stronger. Somehow, through lots of prayer, I didn't feel the absence of this daunting task, but I felt the peace of God. I casted my worries and burdens on to him. For he is my strength.

I thought of my soccer in a different way last night. The pastor talked about gentleness. He described it in a way that now makes more sense to me. Oddly enough, gentleness is courageous. He called it "controlled strength".

The picture that comes to mind is the green giant. This collosus of greenness can look quite daunting. He could probably burninate the countryside and destroy the peasants (TROGDOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), but this guy promotes little guys to eat their vegetables. He has controlled strength.
I view my strength as God's blessing to me in soccer. He's blessed me a lot in it and I often feel like bragging or putting people down by it. Now I see a balance though. I shouldn't use my strength to let other see my strength. Rather I should use my strength to strengthen others. Just like our high school team is going to the Czech Republic to hold a soccer clinic for little kids and preach God's mercy.

I think gentleness is courage. It's sacrificing what you have and what you are for others. That means even "spirituality". Instead of me looking at someone and thinking "Man I know more about God than him or her" and saying "How can I use my relationship with God to strengthen theirs". Courage is selfless. Courage is gentle. Today I want to start being a "green giant".

Luv is a verb

So this morning I was listening to this song by DC Talk. "duh duh, Down with the DC Talk"

They have this song called "luv is a verb". Love, now that's a topic that every high school guy and girl wishes he or she understood.

I ate lunch with my Bible teacher Mr. Herbert today, and we talked about the good old drama from last year's 8th grade. Now, I'm not saying I wasn't a part of this but, there was a large misunderstanding of love. There was Mr. Tharp's love in high school: "Oh, Omish girl, Oh, Omish girl." There's the classic: "She loves me, she loves me not," as the poor 9th grader strips a poor flower of it's petals. It seems sort of like in the 70's with the hippies: "Love flows. It's an emotion. It brings good vibes."

Yeah right. With this view of love it just spells bad news. I was watching TV today and there was that health safety commercial that came on. From watching that today and listening to Mr. Tharp (loved those poems by the way) I found out that that kind of love can bring many things... two of those being meningitis and... hilarious poems that you can entertain insanely hyper freshmen with on a Friday.

Now as satisfactory as those options seem, they just don't seem to make the cut. I think DC Talk was right. Love is a verb. It's a deep-down heart-wrenching thing where you put yourself lower than that person you love and bring them higher. Greater love was found in a man LAYING DOWN HIS LIFE for us. It wasn't "feeling sorry for us" or "dreaming about us". No, it was physically going out and doing something. That's love. Where do I see love? I see love in a soldier in a Iraq FIGHTING for freedom so that we can have ours. I see young people SERVING in a soup kitchen to help the needy. I see my mom PRAYING for others while she is in the midst of cancer. I see my dad WORKING in the office to provide for my family. I see a man LAYING DOWN HIS LIFE for all humankind so that we might experience Heaven. Love is courageous. So, let's not feel love for each other. Let's GO LOVE each other. Luv is a verb.

My hair is normal now by the way. Here's the before and after:

The Monster Within

Recently I read the news on the Doherty shooting. It was horrible. I can't even imagine the pain those families are experiencing. Death has a bitter taste.

The crazy thing is that we can't escape death. No matter how hard we try, what diet we take, how much we meditate, death is a part of life. No way around it, no way over it.

Two people have been on my mind lately that dealed with death. The first is Hudson Taylor. He was my biography for English and this man was strong. He went through so much turmoil... saw so much death. Two of his wives died before God took him home... and even four of his children. I mean... I didn't even go over his friends that were martyrs in China. What did Hudson do about it? He trusted in a faithful God. He obeyed his call. He evangelized all the way into the interior of China. He was courageous.

The other person is Winston Churchill. In fifth grade I memorized his D-Day speech for the speech meet. It was inspiring, courageous. I look at it now and realize when he made that speech. He made it to a group of people who saw death, experienced bombings and witnessed the cruelty of death in WWII. Winston saw death and he said... Let's fight!

Here's one of his quotes I looked up: "Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm."

Death is sort of like another topic we've been discussing: sin. It's something we can't escape. Something we can't get around. It's part of us. The question is not if we'll sin... it's when.

I look at it like the multi-headed monster in Hercules. That thing was ridiculous! You chop of one head and another one grows. Just like sin. We step forward only to be thrown back. Sin is our monster we have to battle. It's the monster within our own selves.

That I think is what Churchill was talking about. Maybe we can't find courage in battling off this sin, but we can find courage in picking ourselves up again to fight.... and pick ourselves up again... and again... and again. For we can never stop fighting because sin won't stop coming. It's a battle... but we push through. Continuously cutting sin down head by head by head...

That's courage. It's what we're called to.

Jesus says we are to carry our cross. It's something we have to do daily. Battling sin is part of that. This is what I think though. If we have the courage to pick up the cross... Jesus will give us the strength to carry it.

The Called

So today I finally accomplished my challenge to myself. I talked to a couple different people. I told you I'd pray for them and the other I asked about how I could pray for them and then prayed for them.

I got to admit that I felt awkward. It wasn't something that I'm comfortable with, not something I normally do. Shouldn't some real spiritual minister or priest be saying this stuff. Me? What makes me qualified that my prayers even do anything?

Then today Mr. Tharp told the story about Ehud. EHUD IS TOTALLY AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I thought of how God created him specifically left-handed so that he could ignite the fire in Israel to be free and worship God.

Then I thought of how Ehud grew up. Think about it... You would be the only left-handed person. When you wrote... people looked at you funny... when you ate... people looked at you funny... when you grabbed objects... people looked at you funny. He probably thought "What would God use me for? I'm not like the other great prophets and warriors. I'm different." But God made those awkward things for his purpose. He didn't call Ehud based on his qualifications. He called Ehud because he had a purpose for Ehud in his will.

Another example for me is Zach Hunter. I knew him before lc2lc and before his book. This kid was shy, had a hard time with friends, and couldn't deal with stress without headaches. Not the kid who you'd expect to be freeing slaves all over the world.

There's a reason Ehud freed Israel and Zach frees slaves. They didn't obey because they knew they were the "creme of the crop", the "elite". They obeyed because they were called. It sounds so cliche but it's true: God doesn't call the qualified, he qualifies the called.

So I guess that gives me no excuse. I need to be courageous and keep working on that rebelution.

Rebelution

Today I failed in my challenge for courage. Yesterday night I challenged my friends and myself to ask someone how we can pray for them and then tell them throughout the day we were praying for them.

I failed. It just seems so awkward because no one else is doing it.

That made me think of courage. It's never made in a comfortable position. It's either made when you put yourself in an awkward position or you are forced into that position.

The funny thing is courage is often found when no one else is courageous. Like in Bible today the whole class read a psalm in monotone. There was pressure right there. Since everyone else was doing it everyone did. Then came Mr. Tharp. That's right, he read the word of the Bible like it was the WORD OF THE BIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's right, what he started in awkardness he made the status queue.

That made me think of reaching out to others. No one does it. No one asks "How can I pray for you?" or "I'm praying for you today" because no one does it.

It irks me that this is the expectation of our generation. We do or do not not because of the expectation put upon us by someone, but because of the expectation we put on ourselves.

It's time we started a rebellion... a revolution against these low expectations.

So tomorrow I want to start this revolution. It's going to be awkward going around and saying "I want to pray for you" or "Can you please pray for me?" but just like Mr. Tharp, what starts with one person could influence many. That kind of courage can lead to the greatness talked about in chapel today. It's time we started acting like the Body of Christ. The Body of Christ was made for greatness. We were made for greatness.

Different Thinking

Last night my youth pastor continued a series on holiness. What God calls us to be as children that are set apart.

One of the points that hit me the most was the call for a Christian's thought life. We are called to have a renewed mind and spirit. One thing that he reiterated was that we were called to think in reverse. As non-believers try to test the limits and see how far they can go, we are called to flee from sin and youthful desires. That's totally counter-culture. I think that's pretty amazing.

That takes guts. A friend that called me up this weekend (Zach Hunter) is a huge example of that. As most teenagers ask for a new xbox or cell phone he started looking into modern day slavery and see what he could do to help that cause. He gave up time, effort, emotion, pleasure, and even sacrificed some schooling to do big things for God.

It makes me feel very cowardly that Christians are called to this and I don't have the courage to tell my classmate "I'm praying for you today." Because in the big picture, the impact I make on my classmate matters far more than enjoying the newest ipod or participating in the latest high school drama.

As Cameron in the documentary in Bible today said: The one thing you regret is what you didn't do.

I want to be the person in Heaven whom God looks upon and says: "Well done, my good and faithful servant." What does serving God look like: It looks like me reaching out to my locker buddy or classmate and caring for them just like they were Jesus. For I how I treat them is how I'm treating Jesus. I think that's courage right there.

Here's Zach's website:

www.myspace.com/lc2lc

Be sure to vote for him on www.cnn.com/heroes He's a true hero in my book.

Soccer Stress

So today, I wasn't very courageous. In fact, I gave in fully to my fear.

Club soccer kick-arounds started today, and they were pretty fun. When I got home I asked about this new soccer program that I tried out for. My parents all of a sudden panicked and looked for the try-out date. Unfortunately, it was on the same day as my part of my other try-out. It also didn't help that last time I didn't make the cut last time I tried out for this program.

For about an hour my mood was grumpy and sullen. My parents noticed it too. Finally I figured out the scheduling with my coach. Now that I think about it though, that's definitely not the way Jesus would've wanted me to have handled that.

In 1 Pet 5:7 it says "Cast your anxiety on him because he cares for you." That's definitely not what I did. So now I have to remember who God is. He is the provider and will provide for my needs. My mom gave me a good quote yesterday on that: "You have to be careful to want the provider more than the provision." Because in the big picture, God is much more important than any of my soccer accomplishments.

Here's a pic of me a few years ago when I tried out for Colorado ODP:

Send Me!

So today my mom isn't feeling so great. Today she reminded me of how she used to feel a few years ago before we knew she was sick.


For a little history, my mom was diagnosed w/ cancer when I was in 5th Grade. God grew me through that time, and I learned how to truly trust him. When the doctors diagnosed her, they weren't very optimistic. God made me rely on him, because my parents were trying to find their own footholds. It's then I believe that I learned about my personal God rather than my parents "God". He became my strength and courage in a time of need.


In the song I made I thought of Isaiah and how he asked God to send him. I had that feeling when God brought me through my trial. That's what I think courage also is. It's the ability to face a trial, pick yourself up again, and say "God, I'm ready to fight again. Be my strength."


In the midst of a trial, I don't believe that I can feel myself being courageous. I think it's when you look back at it and think "Hey, I think God built a little more courage in me."

Sorry about the dubbing and all. Took me awhile to figure this out. I don't have the greatest voice or anything, but this song has meant a lot to me over the years. O yeah and the blond hair is going to be gone soon. It looks weirder and weirder everyday.

Here's the lyrics:
The doctor comes he says I'm sorry sonny,
But there's something wrong with your mommy,
She's got cancer in her tummy,
and I sit and I say Why me?
Chorus:
And I sing,
My God, He's greater than you, He's greater than me,
He's greater than I'll ever be,
He's greater than life, He's greater than death,
Greater than my strife and than my stress,
He's greater than my thoughts, Greater than my actions,
Greater than my doubts and than my sins,
He's greater than you, He's greater than me,
He's greater than I'll ever be
Verse 2:
The doctor comes, says her cancer is aggressive,
He didn't give her much longer to live,
I asked my God, what can I do, what can I say?
He said surrender and obey
and I sit and I say Why me?
Chorus
Verse 3:
A few years later,
She's getting better,
My God is greater,
He's brought me farther,
Than I'd ever know,
Farther than I'd ever go,
And now I sit and now I say send me!
Chorus

Courage in Defeat

So yesterday evening the CSCS soccer team participated in the State 3A Semifinals. It was an awesome experience.

As I walked on to that field I had no idea that we would get beaten, but I would find courage in this situation. This game didn't go very well for us. In front of a bunch of home fans and in a huge stadium... we just got showed up. The game didn't go well and we were down 2-0 at halftime. During the end of the game we managed one goal but the score became 4-1. We basically had no more hope.

I believe I had courage that evening though. Before the game I asked God that he would be glorified through me. That in victory or defeat I would know that I played for him. And I did. I played my heart and our team did too. We didn't let down, didn't give up. Though the score didn't change we found a level inside ourself that couldn't be tainted by defeat. Now I believe that's courage.

As a freshmen on the soccer team, I've felt a lot of fear playing in games. But when we walked out on that field last night, I felt confidence. Not because of who I was, but because of the courage on our team. I looked at our seniors and I saw courage and heart. That courage I think is at a different level. A courage that doesn't just carry one person through a trial, but a courage that inspires many. That courage can do great things.

Joseph and Frodo

So today I couldn't really think of myself being courageous... or cowardly. But I did think a lot about it.

In devotions today I read about Joseph. The workcrafter guy who was pretty much... boring. God could've chose some priest or pharisee, but he chose Joseph. Joseph was put in a position where he had to give up his reputation for taking a wife and a "illegitemate" son, being called a lunatic for talking to an angel, and spending the night of his son's birth in a filthy stable. Despite all that he chose to take Mary as his wife and Jesus as his son and face the problems and the people.

It reminds me of Frodo. In the tunnels underground he talks to Gandalf and says that he didn't choose this situation and he didn't want this situation. Gandalf wisely says that heroes are not the ones who make the situations, but the ones who decide the outcomes.

That is courage to me. When God places a problem in life. Like cancer, divorce, bad grades. We become defined as courageous or cowardly. We either pout about the situation or say, "God, help me fight this fight with your armor". For truly, we need not fear anything no matter what because we have got the greatest power of the universe on our side. With that we are truly more than even a heroic hobbit.

Chip on the Shoulder

Today I didn't feel very courageous. In fact, for the past couple of days I've felt like I have a burden that I can't carry. Recently my mom's cancer meds stopped working so this weekend she had to travel to a doctor in Oregon to ask about new medicine. She came back and her cancer has been causing her pain. She can barely talk or lift her arms without pain. So throughout school I've been thinking "woe is me". I've got so much homework, too little time, no sleep, my mom is sick... Courage (I believe this is brought up) is putting others before yourself. I definitely wasn't doing that. So, I decided to try something else. I didn't just ignore my problems, but I focused on praying for the problems of others. It helped... a lot.

So tonight I did devotions w/ my parents and I asked if we could play some praise and worship with my guitar. We sang "How Great is Our God" and my mom started crying. She shared with my dad and I her prayer journal of how she was dealing with the exact same thing I was. She dealed with her chip on her shoulder I believe in a more courageous way than I did. She praised God. She praised him for the good, the bad... everything. It blew me away. So now here is what I think. Courage when you have a burden takes something that many don't realize. The ability of surrender. To realize that our burden is heavy but Jesus' yolk is light and giving up our burdens. For he is a great God and he can take it on. It is not up to us to carry our burden... but to throw off that burden that hinders us in the race and keep our eyes on the prize... Christ.

This song is truly amazing:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ud0kaWLHEd4

School Prayer

10/29/07

Recently I’ve been pondering what I can do to bring God not only into my life, but also into my friends’ lives at school. Over the past two weeks, I may seem small, but it was a big step for me. I started leading prayer at lunch everyday. I believe that courage in the Bible is taking hold of God’s promise that “where 2 or 3 are gathered, he would also be there”. Who knows, it might become something bigger than just a lunch prayer. Sometimes, God’s calling a person to courage leads to bigger things one never expects.